Sarcastic Quotes About Love

There’s something I want you to remember
Before you decide to get hitched.
Thinks like coffee, chocolate, and men:
Some things are just better rich!

You might be looking for love in all the wrong places,
You’ve turned every stone and looked under every log.
Maybe it’s time to admit that men aren’t the answer,
And go to the pound to adopt your own dog.

Love is patient, love is kind.
That’s what the Bible says.
I think things must have been
Very different in those days.
That was before toilet seats
Could be put up and down.
Maybe Joseph’s snoring didn’t
Mary’s chances of sleep drown.
When it comes to love today,
You’re lucky if you find
Patience that exists beyond
The mental patient kind!

Lovers go on beautiful tours
Of the world to see the sights.
They jump right on boats and trains,
On busses and long flights.
They’ll see art in the Louvre,
Take pics with the Tower of Pisa,
While you and I just sit home
Ordering another pizza.

Love is an adventure and it’s one that many take.
But it’s also one that many other people fake.
Your adventure might take flight and soar through your heart,
Just make sure it doesn’t end like Amelia Earhart’s!

People who are in love can be so annoying.
Their holding hands and kissing gets to be quite cloying.
Each other’s “lovely company” they are enjoying
While you watch the bar tender another drink start pouring.

Some of the best love stories come from ages ago.
Like the one of Juliet and her fair Romeo.
Or perhaps the one of Cleopatra and Marc Antony.
Even that of Albert and Victoria of Brit’s Monarchy.
Maybe there’s a link between the love that these all share,
And the fact that their lives were filled up with despair.

The love I feel for you is something that you’ll never know.
It’s something that really just continues to thrive and grow.
At times I think that it’s a little inappropriate.
Other times I just want to weep, because I’m so fortunate
To have you in my life each morning and each afternoon.
I don’t know what I’d do if you ran out so soon.
You provide the motivation to keep going strong, for me.
I love you, it’s true, I do, my delicious coffee!

Love can invade your mind and soul
And it can distract you a lot.
At times like that it’s best to just
Get ready to order one more shot.

Remember when we were young and vibrant
When everything stayed where it should?
Our asses were firm, our skin was smooth,
In general we looked pretty good!
What the hell happened over the years?
It looks like life gave us a shove.
I guess it’s just the toll of living
Together so long and in love.

When I feel just right about everything we do
I can’t help but feel that bad news is overdue.
Life doesn’t seem to let you get away with just love.
For every good tit-a-tat, it gives you one big shove.
That’s how the universe likes to keep things balanced.
I know that logic might seem a bit advanced.
But for now I guess we’ll just have to grin and bear it,
Because when you’re in love you should be prepared for shit.

Love makes you do crazy things,
That’s what I’ve heard said anyhow.
It’ll make you change your ways,
You may not recognize yourself now.
When did you start wearing pink?
When did you get a dog?
Why is there a bookmark here
On this wedding page blog?
Your head might be spinning round
In circles way to fast.
But that’s just what love does to you
And forever this life will last!

Boys, here is a bit of sage advice that you should follow
When you’re in love you should be prepared to your pride swallow.
Make sure that she always wins fights, and you’ll never fret!
Have a back-up gift on hand should special occasions you forget.
And just smile and nod, even when she isn’t close to right,
Admit to yourself she’s the boss, and your love will be tight.